Where did all the eagles go?

This is a bit of an observation I've of recent. The symbol of a eagle is used a hell of a lot. It was featured on all flags, correspondence and stationery of that popular little Mr Hitler or as he might have been known to others as Mein Fuhrer. I think he is referred to now as 'that nutty german bloke', as my history teacher once pointed out to me. I digress, the symbol of a eagle spreading its wings is still very popular. Barclays Bank use a very similar image but just colored in blue. Maybe Mr Hitler owns the banks. I'm sure sometimes we fell he does. Even America have taken on this beautiful bird of prey as a symbol for all their views and beliefs.

All this is fine a dandy but wait I'm really concerned with is the point of view of all the eagles that are having there entire image ripped off for the sake, and lets be quite honest, of dictators. Hitler, America, and the banks. I would have thought that the poor eagle has worked hard for his reputation and image, only to be destroyed by dictators. If i were an eagle I would start trowing a few chairs around. What the eagle will really end up doing though is taking over Europe making him a economic superpower and then lend all the money to people with crap credit ratings or as some have coined it, AAA debt.

An e-mail from Mr Dave Trott

I done it. I bit the bullet and threw myself of the ledge into the abyss that is the world of Dave Trott. Or I just sent him a e-mail. It could be put that way. Yes I sent him a lovely little email but I didn't do my ground work tut tut. The thinking was as follows; e-mail Dave (hope he doesn't mind me calling him that) and challenge him to a game of squash but not any game of squash oh no. There was a proposition involved which went with the conditions of, if I beat him he has to give me and my creative partner (the lovely Sarah) an book crit. If I were to lose then I will pack my bags with advertising and be on my way to being my next best dream. A goat herder. Send.

4 days later I receive a reply! I was more overwhelmed with reply that I nearly forgot to actually read the e-mail. After a few moments I got it together and read it,

Hi Joe,

I haven’t played squash in decades

But one of our senior writers here, Rob DeCleyn, does.

So I’ve forwarded your email to him and we’ll see if he takes you up on it.

Dave

To be absolutely honest with you I really didn't and still don't know how to take it. I got rejected but instead he gave me one of his senior writers! Can I argue with that. Nope.

So we're off to see him next Thursday for a book crit. Big, big opportunity. I'm still gonna keep trying to get a cheeky book crit with the man himself though.

Been a while but I haven't been wasting my time

It's bee a while since I last put something up so I decided to start it off by mentioning a website that my brother and I are working on. Just a little web space for me and him to post up our work and thoughts. Just seeing where it goes. One thing I have learnt is that I know diddly squit about how to make websites so this may take some time. we have however come up with a general feel for it. Heres the logo. let us know what you think.

I don't even have a reason to to put this up. Nope not one. 

Proof that Its all relative.

Just another one of life conundrums. When do we stop making up philosophical jargon and do half the things we say we should do.

Just what the doctor ordered

I was stuck in a rut so i decided to be spontaneous and random. Turns out it was for the best.

prime minister please...?

As you do sitting there one day getting lost in my own thoughts and I somehow got onto the subject of who would suit the next role as prime minister? Then it hit me, Jose Murhino why the hell not. I'm taking that one to downing. end.

A little pick me up for every who watches.

He is a little pick me up for whoever wishes to watch. It was a project at uni and the brief was 'how would you make the world a better place'. So to be honest, to make the world a better place we would probably have to eradicate ourselves of the face of the earth but that was to extreme to present. Plus who the hell would we be presenting to. We just decided to have a little fun through the medium of dancey-chancy (just made that up). 

Enjoy-sy-pops.

Parallel dimensions

As ever in history and in the foreseeable future we are on the edge of technology forever moving forward in everything we can do. Technological advances are and always have been that sense of progress within humanity. The thing is we can only feel that we are progressing because we can remember the past, we take satisfaction in the fact that we have come from A to B and satisfaction is based of the past what has happened. Now the future is a whole new kettle of fish. This is what drives us to build the technology, the unknowing, the unexplored and the scary. This, to me is the fun side. This is where you can pretty make up the future based on the past. Take for instance AI (Artificial Intelligence). Its been about for a while but the general consensus is that AI is a man made electrical 'brain'. It is hoped in the future that it will be so advanced that computers will have human emotions, feelings, reactions, and motives. This always got me thinking.

If we ever get to a stage in our existence where the AI is so life like that they could be considered human themselves, then how did we get here. The big bang is one theory and religion has its own but what if there has always been AI so good you cant tell the difference. What if we were living the AI life. What if we have already been created by some other being that has created AI so unrecognizable to its own existence. It would be doing the exact same thing that we are trying to do now except it has already done it and onto something else far more advanced. We would never know, ever. How much agro would that cause within the world nay the universe. It would all be a lie, a big fat lie. You would have to re-write everything, religion, science. What if we were a pet sitting on someone's mantle piece or whatever they would call it. It would put everything in perspective wouldn't it. There you go I've just solved the mystery of life, we are AI. So come join us. Just a thought. 

A few words

If you don't have any worries there is nothing that can hold you back.

You could do anything that you wanted to do.

Stand up and be counted, not just for the people around you but yourself.

To go out and get what ever it is that you want to do.

Throw down your hair and fucking get to grips with life.

Be who you have always wanted to be.

Live how you want to live.

If you are still reading this you have just made a choice.

Thats what life is about.

Choices are the bane of our existence.

Some bigger than others.

Its your job to start making good ones productively.

Your life, your rules.

Don't let anyone hold you back. 

You are who you are because of you.

Don't ever let any tell you otherwise.

Not even you own subconscious thought.

Be your own hero, be your own saviour.

Be your own puppet master.

Sexy body language

A small body language insight into the world of flirting with the opposite sex?!...

Rob Monday

Rob Monday is his name and train spotting is his bestist past time...

If you cant her the sound then don't worry your not going mad. Its a little issue my end. I am trying to get it sorted. In the mean time you can make up your own tune if you want? 

Big ploop = a wet arse!

We have all had it even the girls. It is quite possibly one of the most annoying things in the world.Its when you get that lovely little retort, that little thing your stool dose to let you know that it is on its way off down the pan onto bigger and better things. Just as it meets the water it will give you, what I think is essentially a 'poo wink', is a nice flush of water from where it has just come from. I know that they say that the next stage of human evolution is telecommunication but I'm not so sure it could be. I'm sure if we as a species are beginning to become so developed that out own turds are beginning to create their own bon voyage. After writing this short passage I have just convinced myself that they are little beings that we are carelessly flushing away. Next time I am vacating my bowels I'll give a second thought as to what that little piece of Brownage is trying to tell me. How ever much thought is put into it the fact of the matter remains, splash back is pissing annoying. If there is any Brownage out there reading this the please take note!  

Amy asked me for a seashorse for christmas...

...so I told her i'll take her to the stables?

Cabbies...

There must be a lot of stories about the cab drivers of Great Britain. How they, depending on where you come from, are geezers or the silent type. Even the smell of the car can be put somewhere, smelling the last persons sick, or how the one person never has enough money pisses off at the penultimate stop and doesn't mention it till his/her stop. When you are in a hurry and ask matey boy to put a foot down and he drives like a fucking nutter, driving up everyones arse and cutting people up left right and centre.

But never have I ever been in a cab and ive been in a lot of cabs, where there is total silence and the only noise you can hear is the sound of polly put the kettle on and how much is that doggy in the window............... woof bloody woof.

#1 Forgetting in public

I know that we all, well when I say all I mean the people who don't sit on there arses all day, claming to be a social degenerates who have no legs cos they 'claim' they had to chew them of as they were bullied at school and thought they would claim benefits. No, the people that assist the human gene pool, are living their busy lives, on their way to work in a big rush and then that fatal catch 22 is made. The one where your walking down the street and your going over everything in your mind and then you realise........?!

You've forgotten something, its fairly important so you start to sweat because now you have to make a decision. Do you stop, in the middle of the street and embarrass, (I don't mean you stand there and piss yourself just to take the focus off the fact that you have forgotten something or on the other hand it could be a handy diversion, your choice) yourself in front of all these people who will know as soon as you turn, say to themselves 'ha that twat has just forgotten something and he knows that we know, thats why he's sweating!'.

Or the second option. The one where you don't sweat or look like a twat. Its the cowards way out but in the first few moments of thoughts it seems to be the best option.

There is one other option which unlike the 2nd it takes a few more moments to realise and plan out, how, when and where you do it. Its more of the first idea but requires a bit of over acting. The move goes as so:

You firstly have to prepare yourself mentally. Commit to what it is you are about to do there is no backing out once you have started. Either go hard or go home. Secondly don't think just do it. Stop, turn around but in doing so dramatically flare your hands in the air and as loud as possible say 'I've only gone a bloody forgotten something!' finished off with a big tut and put your feet down a little louder. Its a little embarrassing but I suppose I depends on how important the thing you forgot was. The choice is yours.

Biodegradeable WMDs

Imagine a world where the so called 'WMDs' that all these world powers are believed to have. the amount of power they hold in the palm of there hand to be unleashed with one word one push of a button and the whole of the world would be plunged into chaos and all that was left was a mass of pure destruction and charred trees some still burning. After millions of years the earth has settled and all is at rest.

Now imagine that those WMDs were actually made out of sprouts and turnips. I think that the world would be a lot better of if instead of using weapons that cause destruction, they can still kill as that is the whole point of 'weapons', but when they do kill they fertilize the ground afterwards. 'The considerate weapon' it could be called. A nuclear holocaust would never be seen in the same light again. Granted It would really hum afterwards but the ground would be all fertilized and not full of shit. there would be a lot of blood and guts but that would just turn to a mushy pulp and ad to the ground. Green Peace would have a field day! 

Golf Clubs! On the outside boring or are they....?

Now I have been a member of a golf club and played at a few others but I have only just stopped to think, after a recent visit to my old one, that there is one hell of a potential to make something out of them even if it is just my golf club. god there are some characters out there!?

Whats your flavour?

Think up a new flavour of crisp, something that everyone will like or a niche market will go for e.g kids, teenageers, adults or professions, builders, office workers etc. Create a range.

Tea flavour
Summer flavourWinter flavour
Autum flavour
Spring flavour

Desert flavours

Fry-up flavour

Choc nutella spread and salt vinager

Burger relish

Peanut butter

chinese food

I got fluid

Milk on tap!? could it happen.....

I wonder who thought of putting water on tap all the issues involved in actually making it a national service. Hygene regulations, keeping it in sorage, the building supplys needed the amount of people involved in digging up the land and putting in the pipes. Would the pipes need any for of cleaning, probably.