#1 Forgetting in public

I know that we all, well when I say all I mean the people who don't sit on there arses all day, claming to be a social degenerates who have no legs cos they 'claim' they had to chew them of as they were bullied at school and thought they would claim benefits. No, the people that assist the human gene pool, are living their busy lives, on their way to work in a big rush and then that fatal catch 22 is made. The one where your walking down the street and your going over everything in your mind and then you realise........?!

You've forgotten something, its fairly important so you start to sweat because now you have to make a decision. Do you stop, in the middle of the street and embarrass, (I don't mean you stand there and piss yourself just to take the focus off the fact that you have forgotten something or on the other hand it could be a handy diversion, your choice) yourself in front of all these people who will know as soon as you turn, say to themselves 'ha that twat has just forgotten something and he knows that we know, thats why he's sweating!'.

Or the second option. The one where you don't sweat or look like a twat. Its the cowards way out but in the first few moments of thoughts it seems to be the best option.

There is one other option which unlike the 2nd it takes a few more moments to realise and plan out, how, when and where you do it. Its more of the first idea but requires a bit of over acting. The move goes as so:

You firstly have to prepare yourself mentally. Commit to what it is you are about to do there is no backing out once you have started. Either go hard or go home. Secondly don't think just do it. Stop, turn around but in doing so dramatically flare your hands in the air and as loud as possible say 'I've only gone a bloody forgotten something!' finished off with a big tut and put your feet down a little louder. Its a little embarrassing but I suppose I depends on how important the thing you forgot was. The choice is yours.

Biodegradeable WMDs

Imagine a world where the so called 'WMDs' that all these world powers are believed to have. the amount of power they hold in the palm of there hand to be unleashed with one word one push of a button and the whole of the world would be plunged into chaos and all that was left was a mass of pure destruction and charred trees some still burning. After millions of years the earth has settled and all is at rest.

Now imagine that those WMDs were actually made out of sprouts and turnips. I think that the world would be a lot better of if instead of using weapons that cause destruction, they can still kill as that is the whole point of 'weapons', but when they do kill they fertilize the ground afterwards. 'The considerate weapon' it could be called. A nuclear holocaust would never be seen in the same light again. Granted It would really hum afterwards but the ground would be all fertilized and not full of shit. there would be a lot of blood and guts but that would just turn to a mushy pulp and ad to the ground. Green Peace would have a field day! 

Golf Clubs! On the outside boring or are they....?

Now I have been a member of a golf club and played at a few others but I have only just stopped to think, after a recent visit to my old one, that there is one hell of a potential to make something out of them even if it is just my golf club. god there are some characters out there!?